Summer days-Winter nights-Hot chocolate-Music-America-Toy Story-Eye Make-up-Lazy days-Partying-Necklaces-Spyro-Reading-Writing-History-Advice giving-Nail varnish-Theme parks-Shopping-Cuddling-Guitar Hero-Love <3-Phone calls-Letters in the mail-Dream catchers-Anchors-Peacock feathers-m&m's.
I strongly believe in trying to make the best of any situation given; I've went through phases of seeing the worst in everything- it isn't fun. I'm not saying my life has been easy, it has had its high and low points; but there is no point in dewelling on them- the past is the past, all I can do is try and change the future.
I'm the type of person that would put any persons problems in front of my own, I truly care about everyone else's needs in front of my own. I hate to seem selfish. I'm known to be too forgiving. I don't really care about myself. I would do everything in my power to help someone else.
If anyone needs someone to talk to please just message me, don't ever feel like no one cares; because I care.
If I post any pictures they are from weheartit.com unless stated otherwise.
About Me
About me:
My name is Rhian, I am a 16 year old girl from Britain (Cambridgeshire to be exact); a place where nothing interesting ever happens.
I am currently in the first year of my A levels at school, I am taking; English Literature and Language; History and Psychology. History has always been my favourite subject at school, for some reason I find it all fascinating and I can for see my future degree maybe being in this area. I’m actually one of those ‘kids’ that take school seriously; I spent my first three years of school being a dick but as soon as I reached year ten I started shutting up in lessons and actually doing what I was told; to my surprise I actually started to learn something.
I wouldn’t say that I had a good childhood; a lot of things happened which I wish I could forget. For the first five years of my life my vulnerability was taken advantage of, I still remember the things that happened; although a lot of it I think I’ve managed to block out because it just hurts me to think of it. I think that five years I endured helped create the trust issues I have and the defence system I have in place, which ensures that me opening up to someone is extremely rare and hard for me to do. For a lot of my school years I was bullied and teased; although the worst of it was through years 7-9 ( Aged 11-13) this might explain the hatred I have grown for myself of the years- If people start to point out your flaws you’ll start to notice them a hell of a lot more. I had to suffer the teasing of my peers from right at the beginning of the day until the very end of school, this made learning and wanting to be in class extremely hard; and lowered my self-confidence dramatically. Thought this time I had two ‘friendships’ that led to false allegations about me, such as me telling them to ‘Bring money into school’ or I’ll ‘get them’, which is something I would never ever do. I started to make new friendships which were with the more rebellious students of the school, this led to me being in school ‘isolation’ many a times for being removed from classes and also being in a series of fights . My anger issues are pretty bad, so I find it extremely easy to snap and lash out at people I don’t like, which put me in anger management for a year.
Even in the present point of time when I don’t get bullied at all, I wouldn’t say I had the ‘perfect life’. I would consider myself to be a nice person which between my friends in their words makes me, ‘easy to bully’. I feel like they think they can say whatever they want to me and in their eyes that’s okay, so when I get told to ‘go die’ to them it’s just a joke, but for me…Yeah It kind of hurts.
I’m lucky enough to have an incredible girlfriend of almost two years now who keeps me strong, I feel like she loves me for me and I don’t have to pretend for her, I can just be me. I am so in love with her; she is honestly my everything. She can pick me up when I’m feeling the lowest, and she constantly reassures me and helps me forget all my many insecurities. I managed to see her for the first time on 13th-20th August 2011, I can honestly say that it was the best week of my life, and to be in her arms for the first time was the greatest feeling I could have ever felt. We actually filmed ‘Our Trip’ together so make sure to check it out, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYVk4Kdvb4w. I will be in her arms once more from 5-19th April 2012, I’m currently counting down the days. I can honestly say I’m in love with this girl, and I can’t wait to make her my wife one day.
I wouldn’t say I was talented at many things; although I would possibly say that writing is a talent of mine… If not a talent, it is definitely a passion I have. I also enjoy reading a lot; gaming; spending my life on Tumblr; talking to my beautiful girlfriend; shopping; theme parks and listening to music. (I could probably list more although I doubt anyone is still reading by this point)
I am not a very straightforward person, I withhold a lot of inner emotions; I rarely cry and I don’t often say what I mean. I care about other people way more than I care about myself; if you’re one of the close people in my life I would literally do anything for you. I’m needy at times, and get lonely easy; I don’t like to be by myself and I feel paranoid that I’m screwing up in some way most of the time. I apologise even if I don’t have anything to apologise for and promised myself that I wouldn’t because I always find a way of making something my fault; I have an addictive personality and once I care for someone I will do everything I can to keep them around. My best is never good enough; when I look in the mirror I feel like crying; my small OCD’s I have helped me to destroy my body. I have nightmares practically all the time; I worry too much; sometimes I plan out everything I’m going to say in my head, but I can never say it out loud. I also constantly have anger building in side of me/ frustration when I sit in my room alone when I’m not talking to someone… I really don’t know why that happens, but it get’s hard to stop myself punching a wall or what not.
I have a lot of negative aspects about myself… I’m slowly working on improving the person I am.
I would be nice to anyone; I don’t really judge people… Only on the person they actually are on the inside. If you’re nice to me, I’ll be nice to you. I am extremely protective of the people I love, I can’t stand seeing them hurt.
Here’s hoping I don’t get any hate for trying to be real with you all…
-Rhianjessica
